🎄 Lonely on Christmas: A Hidden Blessing🎄

Christmas is often painted as the season of togetherness family gathered around the table, friends exchanging gifts, couples wrapped in cozy traditions. But for many, the holiday feels more like a spotlight on loneliness.

 The empty chair, the quiet room, or the absence of loved ones can make the season heavy. Yet what if loneliness on Christmas isn’t just a burden, but also a blessing in disguise? Loneliness has a way of slowing us down. When the noise of parties and gatherings fades, we’re left with space, space to reflect, to breathe, and to reconnect with ourselves and with God. That silence can feel painful at first, but it also makes room for clarity. It reminds us that joy doesn’t only come from crowds; it can be found in stillness, in prayer, and in gratitude for the life we’ve been given. 

 For those who have lost loved ones, Christmas can feel especially tender. The traditions you shared, the laughter you miss, and the memories that surface can make grief feel sharper. But even in loss, there is blessing. The love you carry for them is proof that their presence mattered, and their impact lives on in you. Lighting a candle, saying a prayer, or honoring their memory in a small ritual can transform grief into gratitude. It’s a way of keeping them close while allowing yourself to heal.

Being alone on Christmas can also be a reset. Instead of following traditions that may not serve us anymore, we get to create new ones. Cook your favorite meal, write down what you’re thankful for, or spend time in scripture. These small acts turn solitude into sanctuary. They remind us that our worth isn’t defined by who sits at our table, but by the love God has already placed within us. Loneliness can even deepen empathy. When we experience it ourselves, we become more aware of others who feel the same. That awareness can inspire us to reach out a phone call, a message, or even a prayer for someone else who might be hurting. In this way, loneliness transforms into compassion, and compassion is one of the greatest gifts we can give. Most importantly, Christmas is not about how many people surround usbit’s about the one who came to save us. The birth of Christ was quiet, humble, and far from glamorous. Yet it changed the world. If He could bring light into a manger, He can bring light into our solitude and into our grief.

Discernment from God vs. Intuition

We live in a world that often praises intuition. People say, “I just knew,” or “I had a gut feeling,” and sometimes they’re right about what they recognize. But what we call intuition is often something deeper it’s hypervigilance and pattern recognition born out of trauma. It’s the survival instinct that scans for danger, remembers past pain, and tries to protect us from repeating it.

 

The problem is that even when our intuition correctly identifies a pattern, we can still make the wrong choices. Why? Because we leave God out of our decisions. 

Intuition alone can tell us something feels familiar, but it cannot tell us if it is healthy. It can alert us to danger, but it cannot guide us toward destiny. That’s where discernment from God comes in. Intuition is shaped by experience. If love was missing in childhood, if chaos was constant, or if betrayal was familiar, our bodies learned to anticipate it. 

We became skilled at spotting signs of trouble. That’s not weakness it’s survival. But intuition without God can mislead us. It can push us toward what feels familiar, even if familiar is toxic. It can convince us that we “know what we need,” when in reality, we’re repeating cycles that keep us stuck. Discernment, however, is different. Discernment is wisdom that comes from God, not just from us. It is the Spirit’s way of separating truth from deception, peace from chaos, and purpose from distraction. 

Where intuition says, “I’ve seen this before,” discernment says, “This is not for you.” Where intuition says, “This feels right,” discernment says, “Lean not unto your own understanding, but in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will direct your path.” This truth applies to all of us men and women alike. Trauma doesn’t discriminate, and neither does God’s wisdom. If you’ve ever felt like your “gut” keeps leading you into the wrong situations, know this: you are not broken. You are not weak. You are human. And you are capable of choosing differently when you invite God into the process. For women, discernment means no longer settling for relationships or environments that drain your worth. For men, discernment means refusing to carry the weight of survival alone and trusting God to guide your steps. 

For both, it means confidence confidence that you don’t have to rely only on your past experiences, but on God’s vision for your future. Discernment strengthens mental health because it shifts us from fear to faith. It calms the nervous system, quiets hypervigilance, and replaces anxiety with peace. It reminds us that we don’t have to figure everything out alone we can rest in God’s guidance. Intuition is valuable, but it’s not enough. Without God, intuition can keep us trapped in cycles of trauma, mistaking familiarity for safety. With God, discernment becomes our compass. It doesn’t just help us recognize patterns it helps us choose differently. So the next time you feel that “gut feeling,” pause. Ask yourself: is this intuition, or is this discernment? Am I leaning on my own understanding, or am I letting God direct my path? The difference could be the very thing that breaks the cycle, protects your mental health, and gives you the confidence to walk boldly into peace.

 “Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct thy paths.” Proverbs 3:5–6

Love Yourself the Way You’ve Been Begging to Be Loved

Yesterday, I opened up about limerence the intoxicating highs and painful lows of chasing love that isn’t fully returned. I talked about how those red flags can trap us in one sided relationships and leave us questioning our worth. But recognizing those patterns is only the first step. Today, I want to go deeper. It’s not just about noticing imbalance it’s about breaking the cycles that created it in the first place, and choosing to love ourselves the way we’ve been begging to be loved.

For many of us, the root of those patterns runs deep. If love was missing in childhood if affection, affirmation, or emotional safety were absent it can shape how we show up in adulthood. We may find ourselves chasing love, over giving, or settling for crumbs, because part of us is still trying to heal what was never nurtured. That doesn’t make us weak it makes us human. But it also means we have the power to rewrite the story.

This month, I’m challenging myself and inviting you to join me to practice self-validation every single day. That means speaking to ourselves with kindness instead of criticism. It means celebrating our wins, even the small ones, and protecting our boundaries instead of bending until we break. It means pouring into our own dreams with the same energy we’ve poured into others, and reminding ourselves daily that we are worthy of love especially our own.

This shift isn’t about anyone else. It’s not a jab, not a demand, not a test. It’s about reclaiming our power. It’s about realizing that love isn’t something we have to beg for it’s something we can embody. When we stop waiting for someone else to validate us, we stop repeating the cycle. We stop shrinking ourselves. We stop questioning if we’re enough. Because we are.

If you’ve ever begged to be loved, here’s your reminder: you don’t have to beg for what you can give yourself. Self validation is the foundation of every healthy relationship. Loving yourself sets the standard for how others love you. And you are worthy of love, even when no one else says it out loud.

Yesterday was about breaking cycles. Today is about building new ones. This month, let’s choose to love ourselves the way we’ve been begging to be loved. And in doing so, let’s set the standard: love should never be begged for it should be lived, starting right now.

When Love Feels Like Too Much (And How to Take Your Power Back)

 Have you ever fallen so hard for someone that they take over your thoughts? You wake up thinking about them, go to bed thinking about them, and in between you’re replaying conversations like they’re the only soundtrack that matters. That’s not just a crush it’s limerence. It feels intoxicating, but it can also leave you drained.

At first, limerence feels magical: late night talks, butterflies, the rush of knowing someone sees you. But here’s the truth nobody tells you limerence isn’t just highs. It’s the silence that feels like rejection. It’s pouring out love and vulnerability, only to be met with flat replies. It’s asking for quality time and being met with defensiveness, or being made to feel guilty and small for simply wanting the love you give in return. It’s giving your heart and wondering if it’s being received with the same depth.

And then the questions creep in: Why am I so weak? Why don’t I deserve more? You start doubting yourself, lowering your boundaries, and handing over full control just to keep the connection alive. But here’s the truth this isn’t okay. Love should never make you feel like you’re begging for scraps of attention.

When someone’s time always seems more important than your feelings, that’s not love it’s imbalance. And imbalance will drain you until you forget your own worth. The moment you find yourself questioning whether you deserve better, that’s your signal. That’s the red flag waving. You do deserve better. You deserve reciprocity, presence, and care that matches the energy you give.

Confidence Boot: Stop Self‑Sabotage and Build Yourself Up

So how do you break the cycle? You start by reclaiming your power.

First, validate yourself before anyone else does. Don’t wait for someone else’s words to prove your worth. Write down three things you love about yourself every morning. Their silence doesn’t erase your value.

Second, catch the spiral. Notice when your thoughts loop around them, and interrupt it with a grounding ritual journal one line, stretch, or breathe deep. Replace “Do they love me?” with “Am I loving myself right now?”

Third, protect your energy. Ask yourself: “Does this exchange restore me or exhaust me?” If it drains you, step back. Your rhythm and recovery matter more than chasing crumbs of attention.

Fourth, make self‑care non‑negotiable. Take yourself out, cook your favorite meal, wear the perfume that makes you feel powerful. Self‑care isn’t indulgence it’s survival.

Finally, build your self‑love muscles. Speak to yourself the way you wish they spoke to you. Celebrate small wins: paying bills, finishing a shift, showing up for yourself. Self‑love grows in repetition, not perfection.

Limerence teaches a hard lesson: longing isn’t love. Real connection is about being seen, heard, and met with the same energy you give. If someone can’t do that, no matter how amazing they are in other ways, then protecting your emotions, your energy, and your self worth has to come first.

Notice the red flags. Don’t be afraid to address them. And most importantly don’t be afraid to walk away when you find yourself questioning your worth. You don’t need anyone else’s validation to prove you’re lovable. You already are. The moment you stop shrinking yourself to fit someone else’s emotional limits, you step into the kind of love that starts with you and radiates outward.